PSA: Our kids will "ruin" Christmas for your kids one day. And they will undoubtedly be on the receiving end of some angry parent's passive-aggressive social media post calling my eight-year-old daughter or my four-year-old son "disrespectful brats" (you've seen those posts, too). Why? Because one of these days our kids will have a Christmastime conversation with their friends and let it slip that Santa isn't real.
Yes, we are those parents. The ones who make sure our kids know that Santa is a fictional character.
Hi. Nice to meet you.
Let me first say this: We are not running around yelling, "Santa? I think you mean SATAN!" Let's reign in the crazy, mmkay? We watch Santa movies, sing the Santa songs, and on those rare occassions that we're in the States during the holiday season, we even take pictures with Santa. But, our kids were always going to know that a man in a red suit carrying gifts in a sleigh pulled by reindeer was just a pretend story.
So, what is our aversion to jolly old St. Nick being the main player in our holiday festivities?
Here are some things that we as "nonbelievers" want you to know:
FOR US, THE SANTA GAME IS A DECEPTION
A lot of people consider Santa "just a game". But, here's our conviction (read again: our conviction) - if we are telling our kids that Santa is real, but we (the parents) are the only ones who know the truth, then is it really game? Or is it a deception? We consider it the latter, and we don't want to deceive our children by perpetuating the Santa narrative year after year until they're old enough to use logic and figure out the truth. That's kind of a big deal to us. Why? Because as followers of Christ we don't want to be a part of potentially causing our kids to doubt the reality of God. And before you say, "How is that even related?", hear me out:
Let's say for years we encourage our kids to believe in Santa Claus. During those same years we also encourage our kids to believe in Christ. We read stories about both. We watch movies about both. We sing songs about both. Eventually our kids find an empty box in our closet with a picture of a gift that was supposedly from Santa, and they figure out the truth: Mom and Dad made up the whole Santa thing. What's to keep them from tossing aside everything they've been told about Christ? From thinking that Christ is just a fictional character? That Mom and Dad are making Him up, too?
It's not a farfetched concept. And, just because it didn't happen that way for you doesn't mean it hasn't happened that way for others. It has, and we've heard their stories. And we simply don't want to take a chance on being a part of anything that might keep our kids from trusting in Christ. That's just our conviction.
SANTA DOESN'T VISIT KIDS IN THIRD-WORLD COUNTRIES
Our kids live in a country where "Santa bringing presents" is a completely foreign concept.
Let me fill you in on a little known fact: not everyone in the world celebrates Christmas by giving a plethora of gifts. Whether by poverty or by choice, that's just the way it is. See, we're already having to navigate our kids wanting to show off their abundance of toys and gadgets to their friends who don't have a single toy to their name. Now, how on earth are we supposed to tell them that "Santa brings presents to kids" and then let them wonder why he didn't come to their Zambian friends' homes? Clearly, Zambian kids aren't good enough for Santa to come and visit. Merry Christmas kids, not only can your parents not afford to buy you a present, but even Santa, who gives free gifts, doesn't want to bring you anything.
Ouch. Right?
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, WE ARE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS
We’re actually very cautious when we're around other people and the topic of conversation turns to Christmas. We will whisper, “Do y’all do Santa?” to the parents in the room, and if the answer is “yes”, we try to encourage our kids to talk about something else and quietly remind them that there are other kids who believe Santa is real.
But, that’s as far as it will go from my end, because...
WE WILL NOT WALK ON EGGSHELLS
I refuse to tiptoe through every Christmas season and stress myself out over the fact that our children may be the ones to let the elf out of the bag. Any time we are around other kids, I will remind mine once to keep their knowledge to themselves, but I'm not about to follow them around and monitor every single conversation to make sure they play pretend just right. I won’t do it.
We have our convictions. You have yours. If you want to stress to your kids, “Some children believe that Santa ISN’T real”, then by all means, go ahead. Let the kids hash it out amongst themselves, and at the end of the night we can go back to our homes and have the conversations we need to have with our own kids to reinforce whatever we’re teaching them.
Every year I see more than a handful of posts on social media from parents who l i t e r a l l y make "threats" against adults and children who might dare ruin Christmas for their kids by revealing the truth about Santa. And I'll be honest, it makes me frustrated, because the moment my children (whose brains aren't fully developed, because, you know, they're children) let slip three little words, we will become a bunch of holiday villains and no good grinches. And having my family name be the topic of slander isn't really my cup of tea, thanks. It is not fair nor realistic to expect my children to keep your secret, so can we all just enjoy the holiday the way we each see fit without all of the pettiness?
I promise we're not going to give you disapproving looks if you tell us that Santa is a staple in your household. You do you, and I genuniely hope your family has the best time with it. But, please know that if our kids ever let it slip that Santa is pretend, it won't be because they're trying to ruin the holiday for your kids. They're just kids themselves. They're not being jerks or being disrespectful, as I've seen written about other children on social media.
So, yes, we tell our kids that Santa is pretend, just like their favorite TV characters. We won't apologize, and it's not ruining the holiday for them, I promise. They have a holly-jolly time with their Jesse Tree ornaments and seeing what Mary and Joseph are up to each day as they make their way to "Bethlehem". They even "play Santa" for one another when they put gifts under the tree. Their fun during the holiday season isn't dependent on a man in a red suit, and that's ok.
What's not ok is making children (or their parents) feel guilty for "ruining the magic". And while we try to be considerate of others' traditions, it is not my responsibility to uphold your family's ideal of a "magical Christmas".
If you'd like to know some of the ways we've been having fun while keeping Christ the focus of Christmas, send us a message! We'd love to share some ideas with you!
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