"What's the hardest thing about coming back to the States?"
We get asked that a lot, and honestly I'm not sure there's one single answer. What I am sure of is that from the moment we land back on US soil we have to make adjustments in the way we live, think, and speak.
Hearing phrases like, "Welcome home!" or "You must be so happy to be back home!" or "Have you missed home?" bring about a weird mix of emotions. I mean, the US isn't really our home anymore, but more like a home-away-from-home. But, rather than navigate that conversation with our well-wishers, we just smile and nod, because things have a tendency to get awkward when you try to argue semantics with someone who simply wants to welcome you back to the place you left.
Driving without getting disoriented takes a few tries:
*Sigh* I got in on the wrong side of the vehicle again.
Ok, now let me keep to the left side of the line... nope, that's a car coming straight for me... let me move to the right.
Why isn't the attendant pumping my fuel? Oh, right. I have to do that myself.
Re-learning American English is fun:
"Where's your rubbish bin? ... Oh, sorry, I meant the trash can."
"Just put that box in the boot. No, not that kind of boot. You know, the big space in the back of the car? Yeah, yeah - the trunk."
"What's the American word for lay-by?"
"Oh, you live there now? When did you shift?"
"Depending on when you knock off, dinner can be at 6 or 7."
Realizing that life goes on without us... that's a tough one. Probably one of the toughest. Friends get married and have babies. Little kids we taught in church are now in college. Loved ones pass away. And although we see updates on social media or hear news about family over video chat, it's not the same. We're still disconnected, and it's an adjustment to come back and see our best friend with a husband and one year old. It's embarrassing to accidentally introduce ourselves to a kid that has changed so much that we don't recognize them anymore. It's tough to remember that grandparents won't be at the first holiday dinner we've attended in three years. Sometimes we feel like strangers walking into a church we grew up because we no longer know everyone there, and new bonds have been formed without us. Life goes on. It's like we expect the pause button to have been pressed when in reality we're coming back in the middle of the third sequel.
So, give us grace. Bear with us as we process how to do life in the US again. It's hard feeling like an outsider in your home country, but oftentimes that's how we feel as we adjust to a new-old way of life.